Revenge is Sweet. Especially in Red.

It's not that I hate the Reds - I actually like Scott Rolen, Bronson Arroyo and Joey Votto, to name a few, but as the saying goes, "A few bad apples..."

Perhaps you remember Footy McGirlykicker, Johnny Cueto, flailing his legs like an octopus on crack because his mouth wrote a check that his fists couldn't cash. So he did the next best thing and kicked like a little girl.

If the still photo doesn't give you enough of a look at the mayhem, you can revisit the August 10 brawl here:

It goes without saying that I hate Johnny Cueto and Brandon Phillips. So it should be no surprise that I'm not upset that the Reds A) were swept in the National League Division Series in three quick games, B) only scored four runs in those three games and C) saw the first no-hitter thrown in the postseason in 54 years AGAINST them. Roy Halladay...you're my hero. (In my best Cameron Fry voice.)

What pleases me most is the fact that Johnny "I'll kick you in the face and end your career with a concussion because I suck" Cueto got the loss as the Phillies clinched and now move on to the NLCS while the Reds crawl back to the Natti to sulk in Skyline Chili and watch the tiger-striped Ochocinco for the winter. In fact, I am overjoyed by that fact, Mr. Kicky McKickenstein.

Here are a few more things that make me happy...

This is true.

Really, Johnny, you couldn't sign your name in cursive? What's that? You say you just recently learned how to cross your "t's?" Good for you. Now that you have some spare time, you should practice that some more. You've got until February 17 when pitchers, catchers and kickers report to Reds training camp in Arizona. Good luck, buddy!

And finally, what would life be for a Reds fan without a few tears...