At last...the Gateway Grizzlies Hotties

I apologize for the 14-day delay in posting this joy. It took me a while to decide which photos of which hotties to post. Actually, I'm just lazy.

So the Christian Man decided to celebrate my birthday month with an invitation to a Gateway Grizzlies game. Being the thrifty Christians they are, they jumped on a super Groupon deal for 2 tickets, 2 dogs, 2 bags of chips, 2 sodas and 10 Grizzly Bucks for $20. Apparently Christian Woman wanted no part of the hour long journey from their abode to ours and then to Mousette Lane in beautiful Sauget, Illinois. Yep, that Sauget.

So we piled in the John 3:16 Mobile and headed across the Mississippi to Grizzlie Bear Blvd (their spelling, not mine) and GCS Ballpark. You may remember GCS from the infamous Shaq vs. Pujols home run derby from a year ago. We arrived, bought an extra ticket for Lang and entered the hallowed gates of GCS.

As soon as we got inside the gates, I spotted Izzy and snapped this awesome photo of Mister Christian.

You better believe THUMBS UP!

We thought about the Krispy Kreme bacon cheeseburger and it's 1,000,000 calories, but decided to live and marched to the concession stand for our dog/chips/soda joy and headed to the seats.
 
As usual, we took our seats and I began looking for freaks, hotties, hoosiers, jorts, cammo and other assorted spectacles of humanity to photograph for posterity. While scanning the crowd from section to section, I spotted this colorfully tattooed gentlemen a few sections over. I don't know if it was the body art, the trucker hat or the enormity of the meaty arms exposed from his homemade cut-off Jack Daniels wife-beater.

Keep an eye on this guy. He may make a return...

After catching a glimpse of Hottie McAwesomness, I spotted a familiar face just a few rows ahead of us. Ladies and gentleman...JENNY G! (Jenny G. is Julia's friend from college and my current place of employment, FU.) 

The fun doesn't stop there folks. I told you I was looking for cammo and cammo I found and humbly submit to you. 

Apparently the Grizzlies have done several cammo promotional items - hats, jerseys, etc. - and this guy collected them all. Well done sir!

I promised cammo and I've already delivered, but what's that? You want to see cammo and a kimono?

Consider it done. Sauget hoosier style.

What follows is a series of Pulitzer caliber photos of, quite possibly, the most gorgeous human specimen mine eyes have ever had the privilege of gazing upon. You might want to sit down and strap in for this one. Remember the guy I told you not to forget? 

What's that? Does he have unusually large and malformed hands? No, it's just a set of foam claws, of course! Let the hilarity ensue.

Doing the Grizzlies dance...

I think he's going Wolverine bezerker style here.

Claw clapping...

He's about to maul the unsuspecting fan in the row in front of him. He didn't see it coming. The poor guy. All that was left of him was a bloody black hat.

The "up high" claw clap complete with whistling. But wait, there's more!

How can someone be THAT attractive? Obviously, there is no such thing as justice.

What's that lady in the row behind him? You have a set of foam claws too? And you want to rumble with JD? Have you lost your mind woman?!

I guess not. This photo depicts a female Grizzlie giving JD the what for. I have photos of the ensuing carnage, but the aren't suitable for public viewing. My blog would probably be turned in for inappropriate depictions of violence. Let me just say this. She lost and he ate her. In one gulp. It wasn't pretty. And what did he so next?

Washed her down with a cold and frosty Bud Light.

But wait! There's even more! Two words - Bobby McFerrin.

The End.

Thanks to the Christian Man for making it all possible. And special thanks to Hottie McBearclaw for bringing his awesomeness to the ballpark in the first place. I couldn't have done it without you.