Day 7: Spokane, Washington

DISCLAIMER: Let me preface this post by saying, the probability of me spending eternity among the hell fires of Gehenna is extremely high, like in the 99th percentile high, astronomically high. That being said, please do not judge or condemn me for the following observations as they are merely that, observations. If you offend easily or often feel compassion towards your fellow humans, read no further.

Click HERE to see the photos from Day 7.

Fun Fact #1: Total miles driven: more than 2,400. Total miles driven in Montana: 1,300+.
Fun Fact #2: There are only 16 Starbucks locations to serve the needs of the 902,195 fine citizens of all 145,000+ square miles of Montana. Quick math reveals that's an average of 56,387 possible Montanans per location. Whoa Nelly, that's a lot of $4 java-based beverages.
Fun Fact #3: I've come to the realization that mullets/ponytails/shaggy hair and Oakley sunglasses are staples of life in this area of the country. They are much like milk and bread to you and me.

No 6:30 a.m. wake up call today! We actually had lunch first and left Butte about noon-ish to head to Spokane, Washington. We drove a lot, blah, blah, blah. I guess that's understood by this point considering we're on a 5,000 mile road trip. Therefore, I shall not bore you with driving details.

I must, however, share two specific photos/observations from tonight's game. If you skipped the disclaimer at the top, scroll back up there and take heed before moving onward.

Hunchback Lady

Let me start by saying that I snapped this photo and share this story to reveal my compassionate side. It's in there somewhere. I actually hate to see people in pain, except for drunken hoosiers falling down - that's humorous.

Anyway, Julia and I saw the Indians' mascot, Otto the Spokanosaurus, a few sections over and decided to run along to knock out those photo ops. It seemed as though there was plenty of room to move behind those seated in front of us, but as I passed this poor calcium-depleted woman, I drilled her in the hunch with not one, but both of my knees. I immediately and sincerely apologized to which she said nothing as though getting kneed in the hunch was a regular occurrence. She didn't even seem phased. I was preparing myself for Julia's scorn and mocking when I heard her voice begging similar forgiveness from the very same woman for the very same offense. Within five seconds, we basically assaulted an old lady, suffering from years of little access to milk, in plain view of 5,000 witnesses. Luckily, she didn't press charges.

I've known for a good long while about the hand basket mode of transportation that awaits me on my deathbed and have made peace with it, but I really thought Julia had a shot. I guess, well, not so much.

Photo of the Day Why do I love this photo? Let's count the super awesome things together:
1) A baby human child with pierced ears for the purpose of displaying often dangling, shiny objects. Seems a bit too young to me, but what do I know? I'm just Dave.
2) Boy with faux-hawk in the top right corner.
3) The woman's torso "covering" garment adorned with skulls and hearts. I see that as symbolism for, "I love you to death, honey," for that someone special.
4) As Whitney Houston once exclaimed, "Crack is whack." I hate when Whitney's words fall on deaf Spokanite ears. There's nothing worse.
5) Combine all of the above with the back sweat stain (very similar to pit sweat stains) on the aforementioned article of clothing and you win the Showcase Showdown for photographic awesomeness!

Anyway, it's time for bed because we head for Portland, Oregon in the morn. This is my most anticipated baseball stop on the road trip. I absolutely heart Portland.

Here's looking forward to the post for Day 8 and here's the link to the photos from Day 7 again. Enjoy.

Next stop (in case you missed it): Day 8 in Portland, Oregon and the Columbia River Gorge.