Day 15: Salt Lake City, Utah

Click HERE to see today’s photos from our Mormon expedition and the Salt Lake Bees game.

Today was a strange day, or should I say, different?

DISCLAIMER:
I’m not a Mormon. I don’t know any Mormons. All I know about Mormons, I learned from four kids on South Park and Mit Romney. My knowledge is limited and most likely not based in fact. Therefore, any opinions I may have are ill-formed and ignorant.

Here’s what I think I know. The Angel Moroni appeared to Joseph Smith and gave him 3 Golden Tablets, thus announcing the restoration of the Gospel on earth. JS, therefore, was anointed a prophet, founded the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS) and translated the Book of Mormon into English. South Park also mentioned something about aliens. JS started a Mormon community in Missouri, but it freaked out the native, non-Mormon denominations who decided it was probably best to drive them out, or better yet, exterminate them. Great – pre-Nazi Nazis, in Missouri no less. Joseph and his brother, Hyrum, were martyred, which is always the smart thing to do – kill the leaders of what you believe to be religious cults or other fanatical behavior and their followers will go away quietly never to be heard from again. Several instances where this logic worked like a charm include: Jesus of Nazareth, Martin Luther King, Jr., David Koresh and the evil Voldemort, to name a few.

The golden statue you see atop most LDS temples is the Angel Moroni sounding his trumpet that the Gospel had been restored. I apologize for my ignorance, but Angel Moroni sounds like a Dominican outfielder’s name to me. (So I’m going to hell AND I’m politically incorrect. I’m eternally doomed.) I also heard that, as a boy, Joseph Smith wanted to know which religion was “right.” Since he founded one of his own, and subsequently died for it, I assume he came to some sort of a conclusion.

Oh, and Mit Romney campaigned for the Republican nomination for President and his son jacked with him on a live radio show. He seems to only wear white shirts and is always well coiffed. Signs point to Mit as McCain’s choice for VP, but who knows? During Spring Training, signs pointed to the Cardinals and Rays sitting in last place all year. No assumptions, people.

That’s my Mormon knowledge in a nutshell. Like I said, ill informed at best. I’ll say one thing for the Mormons, they have pretty awesome museums and such dedicated to their faith, although the main reason we went there was to visit the Family History Library to get some dirt on my ancestors. However, it was closed for the 4th of July on the 5th of July – a tremendous display of the illogical in my opinion.

We did, however, visit the Museum of Church History and Art and toured the grounds of Temple Square. They have an army of young Mormon women roaming around in pairs, arms filled with books, just ready and willing to guide you around or answer any questions you may have – within reason. (They don’t go into any of the secretive stuff on the first day. Similarly, you don’t go to a Catholic mass one day and meet Benny XVI the next. It just doesn’t work that way.) And every single one of them you pass says, “Hello.” A friendly folk, even if they are trying to convert me.

Anyway, check out the photos of our visit to Salt Lake’s Temple Square by clicking HERE.

We then headed to Franklin Covey Field to see the game between the Tucson Sidewinders (AAA affiliate of the Diamondbacks) and the Salt Lake Bees (AAA affiliate of the Angels). Here’s a little info on the peeps with the naming rights. Franklin Covey is a company based in Utah. Among other products, they market the Franklin Covey "planner" system, modeled in part on the writings of Benjamin Franklin, and The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, based on Stephen Covey's research (yeah, that Covey). They have 80 retail stores in the U. S. and sell their wares in more than 50 countries. More than you ever wanted to know, huh? Yeah, me too.The stadium had a great view of the mountains and the food smells were tantalizing to the olfactory senses and were just as free as those at Jimmy John’s. To partake in said foodstuffs meant parting with some sweet moolah. The Bees got blown away 6-0 and we got out pretty quickly since most of the Salt Lakers stayed for 5th of July post game fireworks. Mormons and their 5th of July. The logic escapes me.

If you missed it, or are just unobservant, click HERE to see the photos from Day 15.

Next stop: Day 16 at Arches National Park and back to Fraser, Colorado and Hernando’s Pizza with the Magill’s!